Tears

I said in a previous post that I am a natural crier. Not like a whiny cry baby, just one who lets them flow when the time seems to hit me. Well, I am bawling my eyes out right now...and not really for any reason. I have been very deep in thought this past week and I guess that I just decided that I needed to cry about it. I feel like I am a wreck right now...because I am seemingly crying over sad stuff AND happy stuff at the same time.

Tears for my brother:

I am so saddened by my brothers poor choices and the agony that my parents are going through yet again.

I am grieved that Satan is spending overtime wrestling for Sam's life and at the moment he seems to be ahead in the race.

I am overjoyed that "the Lord hears our cries and binds up the brokenhearted" Psalm 34:19
For I know that my parents are mortally wounded and living daily with their hearts broken.

I am blessed that they have not given up on Sam, and that their trust is in the Lord.

I am devastated that Sam is an addict and that this is not just a phase, but a lifestyle.

I am speechless that 100's of people are praying everyday for redemption in Sam's life.

I am joyful that the Lord has blessed our family with an abundance of love and support.

I am hopeful that Sam will lean on that support during this time.


Tears for my family:

I am blessed to have a loving husband who, despite sounding cheesy, completes me.

I am in awe that my children, despite all my flaws, still enjoy homeschooling.

I am honored to be able to stay at home with our children because my husband chooses to be a hard working and steadfast provider.

I am sad because my heart really wants another child and must remind myself daily that the Lord has not forgotten my request, but instead he is answering it in his divine timing, with sovereignty and with grace.

I grieved over my own selfishness (wanting another child when we already have been blessed with three wonderful kids) in light of knowing so many others who have no children, or even have had children and then grieved their loss as they watched their child go into heavens arms at a devastatingly young age.

I am in awe of the fact that my husband would give his life for me, in a moment and count it a worthy price to pay, and I am humbled.

Tears for my LORD:

I am not worthy, and yet he loves me.

I have failed him daily, and yet he renews me every morning.

I have been freed from the shackles that without him would cripple me.

I am a work in progress, and he loving shapes me instead of throwing me away.

My REDEEMER LIVES, the gave is empty, He has Risen!!!!

I believe, Lord help me in my unbelief.