She's going to be a doctor...

The Beez just had the following conversation with her brothers:

Beez: I need some medicine because I am sick

Crack: How did you get sick?

Beez: Remember when Kannon was sick? She had hand, foot and mouth disease? Remember that? Do you remember?

Snake: Yeah, I remember that.

Beez: Well, I have the foot part.

Crack: What do you mean you have the foot part?

Beez: Well, mom always says that I am going to get sick if I don't put socks on in the winter. And it is winter right now, which means it's cold.

Snake: Okay????

Beez: Well, I took my socks off on Saturday and my feet got cold....that means that I got foot disease, cause now I am coughing and have a runny nose.

Sometimes NOT correcting your child is the best medicine.

About Last Night 1/23/09

Last night we celebrated Crack's birthday with family dinner here at home. The Outlaws were here, and the birthday boy choose the menu. I made Grilled Chicken with Fettuccine Alfredo, garlic bread, and blue cheese wedge salad with bacon bits and balsamic vinegar.

As we sat down to eat, The Beez asked if she could say the blessing. This is how it went.

Me: "Go ahead Beez, we are ready to eat."

Beez: "Is everybody ready? I am going to pray now."

Me: "We're ready."

Beez: "Reeeeaaadyyyyyyyy? OooooooKaaaayyyyyyy!!!!!! Dear Jesus............"

The poor child is so excited about being a cheerleader, that it has overtaken everything, even her prayer life!!!

When your child quotes the Bible...to your other child

So, I was just sitting here, working on my 200th post when I overhead the following conversation from the kitchen...

Crack (who is almost 12 to Beez who is 5): "you need to stop messing around, it's time for lunch." Beez: "I am just playing with Snake"
Crack: "I know you are just playing, but you are being disobedient. Mom said for us to get our lunch made and not to waste time. The BIBLE says that you should obey your mother and father, and you are not doing that are you?"
Beez: "No, I am not. I will be obedient and get my lunch ready like Mom said"

Me, to myself, "is that a good thing or a bad thing??? Part of me is thinking, 'way to go Crack!!!'...the other part is thinking, 'take your own advice'.....mostly I am thinking, "he ALREADY sounds like his mother!!!! (poor thing)"

About Last Night 1/02/09

So last night my husband and I snuck out to the deck for a few moments to play with our new cell phones...he got a new Pantech Slate and I finally activated my anniversary present, a new iPhone. We were not outside for 2 minutes when the boys come out and start bugging us about playing the Wii before bed. We oblige, as to gain a few more minutes of play time for ourselves, and they head into the living room to play Guitar Hero.
I kid you not, 30 SECONDS later they are in a full knock down drag out, about to hit the living room floor in a tussle. I come storming in and of course they are both blaming each other, claiming innocence for themselves. I had had enough, so I sent them to bed...no questions asked. My explicit instructions were these:

1. Don't look at each other
2. Don't talk to each other
3. Brush your teeth
4. Get in bed
5. Not a word, not anything.

Crack brushes his teeth first, while Snake gets the bunks ready(they are rooming together since we have company). About 5 seconds after Crack enters the room, he comes running up front mad that Snake is aggravating him and messing with him...he is so mad that he pleads for me to give him the go ahead to lay him out....with my blessing...I was cracking up...but tried to keep my cool and a straight face. I send Crack to bed and call Snake up front for an explanation.

My first words were a recounting of the above rules....loudly. Then I asked him why he broke them, especially when he was already in so much trouble. He replies, "I didn't Mom." I am flabbergasted and told him not to mess with me. I gave him the rules AGAIN and then asked again why he went back there and aggravated his brother. He said, "I didn't break the rules Mom!" To which I met my eventual downfall by replying, "How did you aggravate him without breaking the rules?"

With a straight face he replied, "I took my little dog and waved it in his face...but I DID NOT TALK OR LOOK AT HIM!!!!"

Please tell me I am not alone...please weigh in that you too completely loose face when trying to tow the line with your kids.

I was a goner...their was no point of return...if a kid can find a way to make a way without breaking the rules....I am all in...as in all in the middle of the floor, falling out!!!!

Jackpot!!!!

If you read this post you would remember that our son Jake is addicted to chapstick. Really he is, he doesn’t go anywhere without it. He doesn’t even get out of bed without it, and he even refuses to wear anything without pockets, because then he couldn’t have it with him at ALL TIMES.
Anyway, a few years ago, prior to his addiction, I started using Oralabs ChapIce-Medicated. It is amazing!!!! It goes on really smooth, and never gets sticky like Chapstick brand does. So, that of course was what he used. But then the well ran dry!!! Walmart stopped selling Oralabs, and although I did find one discount store that still sold Oralabs, they did not carry the Medicated kind. I even resorted to trying to find it online….but no luck. So for the last two years, I have always been on the lookout.

Well, Thursday we had some time to kill so we headed to a local store that sells inventory from stores that have either closed down or have been bought out through an insurance claim. It is a hit or miss but we have been known to find some amazing bargains from time to time. As we were meandering through the aisles, Jake abruptly stopped and said, “Wait Mom!!! Look at this!!!!” There he was digging through a Rubbermaid box as if he were searching for true golden treasure. And boy did he ever hit the jackpot!!! There, at the bottom of the box, underneath mounds of gaudy lip gloss, were hundreds of tubes of OraLabs Lip balm(okay, really there were only like fifty)

If you don’t know me or my family outside of this blog, you might assume that we just dug in and picked out a few and went on our merry way. But that would not really be blog worthy, and I do not like to disappoint. So here is the truth. WE WENT CRAZY!!! Yes, like it was real GOLD. I would like to say that the story ends there, but it doesn’t. When I mentioned that we went crazy, I forgot to tell you that EVERYONE around us thought we must surely have found a REAL BARGAIN…like Wii games for a dollar, or NikeShox for $5 bucks…a crowd actually gathered around us!!!! They were all asking what we found, was there any left, and could they have some too!!! It was so funny to see the look on their faces when we held up the tubes of ChapIce…you’d have thought we went off the deep end.

But come on, beauty is in the eye of the beholder right? And there we stood, beholding 16 tubes of Oralabs ChapIce-Medicated…a treasure indeed!!! Not to mention that they were only $.60 a piece…a bargain to boot.

Pouring Down Rain

Last weekend we were at the Outlaws house and the sky was totally falling out. I needed to run into the grocery store to pick up a few things, while Jeff and the boys waited in the car. As I was quickly filling my mini cart and waiting for balloons to be blown up, the following conversation was happening in the car.

Jeff: This rain is unreal. I can not even see the road. This is just crazy bad rain, I don't think it could be any worse.

Jake from the cheap seats: It could be raining watermelons Dad!!!

Jeff: Okay, so it could be worse

Refinement???? I Can't Get Any Respect!!!

We have a long standing family joke about me desiring to have some "refinement" in our lives. I am often met with burps and farts right in the middle of getting ready for church, or talk of body parts during a family meal.

Last night, I made a pretty amazing meal. I made manicotti stuffed with ricotta and pesto, yummy garlic bread and even the AMAZING dessert pictured below.




So, in light of the hillbilly life I live, it is no surprise that last night I was witness to the following conversation.

Jared: This looks really yummy Mom

Me: Thanks Jared, I hope you like it

Jared: Am I suppose to eat it like a sandwich?

Me: no words, really none would do

a few minutes later from the other side of the peanut gallery

Jake: I like the fruit, but not the cheesy stuff

Husband: Well, umm, I really liked the fruit and the biscuit...

Me: Did you just call it a biscuit??? Really, are you kidding me???

I give up, I guess refinement will only come on the other side of eternity. Surely the Saints will know the difference between a biscuit and a puff pastry.

Beijing 2008

I LOVE THE OLYMPICS!!!!

Really, I do. I love the sport of it. Swimming, diving, gymnastics, track and field, gosh I could go on and on. I love the story pieces that the networks show about the athletes. I love a good story, you gotta know them to love them.

Our church is doing a Olympic theme for the sermons, and each SS class is praying for individual athletes. A funny side note on that...I was not in SS when they came around and explained what they wanted each class to do, because I was filling in for the teacher who was making the announcement. So that meant that I had to get the low down from my boys. So this was the conversation on the way home from church on Sunday.

Me: How was class today guys?

Boys: Fine

Jake: Ms Linda came around and wants our class to sponsor a christian athlete during the Olympics.

Me: really Jake, that is so cool

Jake: Yeah, I picked....(at this point he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny slip of paper)...I picked Bryan Clay

Jared: Hey, I didn't get to pick someone. How come I didn't get to have one?

Me: I have no idea Jared?

Jake: I was the one sitting at the end of the table so I pulled the name out of the basket. But he is mine, cause I picked him.

Me: What does he compete in?

Jake: track and Field

Me: What do they want you to do while he is competing?

Jake: I don't know, they just want us to SPONSOR him Mom, we don't have to do anything.

Me: Well, maybe you could pray for him, and follow him online?

Jake: Whatever, I am just going to sponsor him. This is my guy.

Then later that day, he was cleaning his room and he came and asked for some tape. I questioned him because we had just painted his room I REALLY did not want tape on the walls. He assured me he wouldn't put it on the walls and away he went.

That night, he came to me and showed me his chap stick(he is an addict, really he is, he has it with him AT ALL TIMES, he even sleeps with it in his waistband of his pj bottoms)
He held it up proudly to show me. It was now covered with not only an obscene amount of DUCK TAPE but also the little slip of paper that had Bryan Clays name on it. You can read about him here. (He is in the Got Milk ad on the right with the track shoes around his neck.)

That was so Jake, not even really sure what "sponsor" means but knowing it meant something important. Important enough for the beloved chap stick, it might as well have been duck taped to his heart.

Kiss and Tell

Our kids are going through this stage right now where every time my husband and I steal a kiss, they fall out and rush toward us trying to pull us apart. They would yell, "Smoochy, Smoochy" and literally try to get between us.

Sometimes, we would smooch just to get their feathers ruffed up...it really was quite funny actually. A few months back I explained to the kids that smooching with your spouse is a benefit of being married. We are suppose to love on each other like that. I also told them that if they ever saw me kissing another man, that they by all means had the right to pull us apart, but as long as it was Daddy, they needed to let us smooch whenever we wanted.

But then Tuesday night while we sat at the drive up at our local Sonic, I leaned over and beckoned for some some love from my beloved. Although he declined at first because he was hot and sweaty (we had just left the ball field following a back-to-back double header), he finally gave in (against the roars from the back seat) and smooched away. Just FYI, I am talking about a simple kiss, nothing PG-13, but we definitely put on show for their behalf.

Once again during the smooch, they begged us to stop. When we did, I turned around and said," What have I told you about moms and dads kissing?"

Micah popped up, hand raised and said, "I know, I know!!!! We can only say stop kissing if mom ever kisses someone that is not daddy."

I replied, "That's right Micah, as long as it is Daddy, I can smooch away!!!"

From the cheap seats in the back of the van, Jake pipes up, " Don't worry Dad, if I ever see Mom kissing another guy I am going to run over, jump on his back, and pound him into the ground."

Jeff replied, " Thanks Jake"

From the cheap seats again, "You're welcome Dad, I got your back."

We all fell out at this. Jake is a scrappy fighter, quick as lightning, but to envision him taking out some kissing intruder had us all busting at the seams.

Gotta love loyalty.

In the Name of Love

As a mother you field all kinds of weird requests. Like the following:

• Nightly, I am asked to scratch my kids backs before they go to bed.
• My daughter likes to get "skin" when she needs comforting. "Skin" is simply her rubbing my arm, usually under the sleeve. Or sometimes she gets sneaky and tries to get up the back of my shirt and rubs my back with her hand.
• One son likes chocolate, the other not. Same goes for mayonnaise. So I make specialty sandwiches every day.
• "Mom, can _________ come over today?"
• "Don't tell Dad....Please!!!!"
• "Can I have $5 bucks?"

These are the usual at my house. But last night, actually VERY EARLY this morning I had the strangest request EVER.

My Daughter had awaken and joined my husband and I in our bed around 4am. That was not so unusual. But after about 30 minutes of tossing and turning she started to cry and this was her request, "Mommy, will you rub my feet, they are hurting?" I asked her to repeat herself, first to make sure I heard her correctly, and second to make sure she was awake. She repeated the same request, so at 4:30 AM ON A SATURDAY I sat in my bed and grabbed my lemon body butter from my night stand and rubbed away.

After a few minutes I grew reflective and started praying over her. I prayed for where her feet would take her in her life, that she go the way of the Lord. I prayed for her hands, that they would always be helpful. Her heart that it would always be kind. Her eyes that they would see truth. And right when I was about to end, I smoothed her hair out of her eyes, and then she made this request(she had been asleep), "Mommy, will you scratch my belly?"

Dear Friends, what is the strangest request you granted for love?

Top 10

Better late than never...here goes.

10. Mowing and weed eating the yard for my husband, who has been working outrageous hours lately.
9. Watching "Enchanted" with my kids, a really cute movie that we all enjoyed.
8. Sunday afternoon with my daughter at the mall, while the "men" all went to the movies together. She is so hilarious about having "gawirl time" (aka girl time)
7. Seeing the hand of God at work.
6. Getting our curriculum for next year...I am really excited about the changes I have made.
5. Finishing a good book.
4. Spending the afternoon at the beach with my kids...twice. Looking forward to many more times this summer. ( I should clarify that we live in 'Small Town' Mississippi, but we live in a private lake community. I spend 8 months out of the year complaining about all the hassles of living in a community governed by an association, but then the summer comes, and I head to the shore and it all seems to fade away.)
3. Heeding my husbands wise counsel which saved me from showing my backside to a whole lot of people, which would not have been good.
2. Burned bridges being restored.
1. Watching Jake lay down a perfect bunt, work the count for a walk, and then hit a sacrifice fly...Yeah for Snake.

The Splinter

Tonight I had to do what every mother hates to do. I had to remove a splinter from my daughters heel. Not just any splinter, but one that had been there a few days, unknown to me. So, I had her take a nice long bath and told her that after she had soaked awhile, we would go in the living room and I would get the tweezers out and remove it.
Well, the time had come, and she was very brave. I spent a few moments looking it over trying to figure my best course of attack. I had some tweezers, some medical scissors, and some clippers, all of which just heightened her anxiety.
After a few unsuccessful attempts, she started crying hysterically. I tried to sooth her and calm her down, but nothing was working. I tried again, and this time she started hollering, " Momma, stop! Stop! No more, it's too painful when you touch it."
I stopped messing with it and tried to explain that it was hurting because the splinter had been in there a few days and we had to get it out so that it would not get infected.
I began again, with sobs still flooding in, and I finally made a little progress. I retrieved a small portion of the splinter. I showed it to her, thinking she would be glad that I had some of it out, but instead she started wailing again. This time she wanted only one thing.
"Momma, I need to snuggle with you for a minute. Please, Momma."
I took her in my arms, stroked her hair, and wiped her tear stained face. I began telling her how sorry I was that it was hurting, but sometimes it has to hurt a little more, before it gets better. I explained about having to take nasty medicine, to feel better; about shots, that hurt for a minute but keep us from getting sick. She seemed to understand, but it still just killed me to have to cause her pain, even if for the good.
I gave her a quick squeeze and began to think of all the times, that my Heavenly Father had done the same for me. How many times, I was given just a quick respite during a painful time of growth. Just enough to catch my breath, and catch His grace. How He lovingly reassures me in my distress, wipes my tears, and gives me just enough for the next part of the journey.
As I laid her back and began to work again on the splinter, it got worse before it got better. The tears were heavy and the sobs were heart breaking so I stopped to give her another respite but nothing prepared me for her next outcry as I embraced her.
"Momma, this is just like getting a spanking."
While it broke my heart, it also made me smile. On the few occasions when she has gotten a spanking, she is always more broken hearted than she is anything else. I have to hug her before and after her spanking, and then again multiple times in the following hours, as she is still dealing with the broken heart aspect of the spanking.
After I soothed her tears, I explained that a spanking is used to correct bad behavior and that is different from the splinter. The sadness or heart break that she was feeling was similar in each scenario, but the reason for the feelings were polar opposites. Yet in each instance, she wanted comfort and grace from me.
I guess, I am the same way with my Father. I want Him to comfort me just the same, whether I was in sin, or if I was in pain. I just want His arms around me.
How often do I exchange one feeling for the other.
Thank you Jesus, for loving me despite my sin.
Thank you Father for loving me in my pain.

Blessed be the...

I was just getting my daughter ready to head out for a day with my mom and sisters and she was all ready except for her hair. We debated for a moment over hair ribbons or bows, and then over piggies or ponies when she started singing "Blessed be Your Name". She got through it once and just when I was about tear up she started the second run through. This time it went something like this, "Blessed be these piggies, may they be the ones that do not hurt."

Then the tears went from joy to hilarity.

Bounty Hunter

So, we are making our way through our school day and shortly after lunch, both Jared and Micah are ready for a break outside. I tell Micah that she has to go get tennis shoes on first...she was still in her pj's but I was good with that. So off she went and came back to check in with me before she headed out. I almost fell out. I wanted to grab the camera and let you all see how she dressed herself, but at the last minute I changed my mind. I realized that ALL girls, when dressing themselves would probably pick the outfit she did. So, it really was not that funny, at least not "blog" funny.

I continued on with the laundry and cleaning my bathroom and on my way through the house I hear her calling me. I headed to the living room and there she is in all her glory. Begging Jake, who is not quite done with school, "Hurry up Jake, I need you on my team. We are playing Bounty Hunter and we have to get Jared. Hurry Up!!"

That's when I grabbed the camera.

I realized that while the outfit alone was not "blog worthy", her wearing it AND playing Bounty Hunter was definately laugh out loud funny.

So here she is in all her glory....Micah, the mini skirt wearin',light saber weildin', pink huntress.

And the Oscar goes to.....

So, tonight I was just chillin watching the Oscars....which is funny in and of itself since the only movie I could have a knowledgable opinion of, was Ratatouille. But, since I was watching for the fashion of it all, I guess it does not matter.

Anyway, Micah was sort of roaming the house popping in and out of my room during the show. At one point she was on my bed painting her toes and getting all excited about Miley Cyrus being on the show(on a side note, you should now that I own a Billy Ray Cyrus cd, just fyi). She is painting away, a lovely shade of red, getting more on her toes, than on her toe nails, but still enjoying herself. When all the sudden she says, "Oh, Mom, I love that movie. It's my favorite. Did you and daddy like "The Boring Old Tomato" too? Remember, you went and saw it? It was my favorite." At this point she breaks into song...the Veggie Tales theme song at the top of her lungs.

If you were watching the show, you know that there was no movie with that name. Even I, with my limited film knowledge, knew that this did not sound right.

And then it hit me.

"The Bourne Ultimatum"

Sea Treasures

Well, let me start off with the important stuff. At this point, we do not feel like the Lord is leading us to Florida....at least not right now. We spent the weekend there, and while we had a marvelous time and really enjoyed the area, the specifics of the relocation are not feasible for our family right now. While the offer is still on the table, we don't think we will be accepting it at this point.

There, now that that is out of the way, let me get to the really funny things from our weekend.
If I had a dollar for every time I cracked up this weekend, I would be a rich woman. I do not know what made everything so funny, but believe me it was. Maybe it was the fact that, altough the weekend was for "work" we were staying in an amazing condo, right on the beach. If you are ever thinking of vacationing in the Panhandle, let me tell you, Perdido Key is THE place. Check out this site www.oceansidecondorentals.com you will not be dissappointed.

Anyway, back to the funnies. The first came late one night after the kids went "crabbing" on the beach. Now, here I must confess, I stayed upstairs while they went on their adventure with dad. I am all about eating crabs, but I have no desire to catch them. So, after about an hour, in the freezing cold the kids all came back upstairs and shared their "fish" stories. Jake's was ofcourse the biggest, "eatin size" which means at least 5 inches across..and in my mind, painful pinchin size which is why I stayed upstairs. Jared, caught the small one, but he was proud just the same. And then came Micah's proud find....with all the excitment that the boys had just displayed during thier story telling, she held her hand behind her back and said, "Mommy, guess what I found on the beach?" And, I excitedly proclaimed, "what honey, show mommy!!!" and with a smile from ear to ear, she brought her hand from behind her back and opened her palm as she exclaimed, "SEA MONEY!!!"

And sure enough it was, there in her hand was a shiny silver quarter.

"SEA MONEY", indeed!!!

I've gotta run, but I will share more Florida funnies later.