My Husband Rocks

Big Daddy is getting a shout out this morning...I would "bump fists" with him if he would let me...but he HATES that, so that would be a negative. But, out of my love and admiration for him, I did get up with him this morning at 4:30am and make him a hot breakfast and coffee, and then even stayed up and watched the news with him, while he ate it.

I am ever thankful for my husband who gets up, without complaint and goes out to provide for his family....in the harsh reality of 15 degrees with a wind chill in the single digits. And then, in the summer, he does the exact opposite by heading out at 4:30am when it is ALREADY 75degrees and on its way up to near 100degrees. All the while, without complaint. All he asks for is either a hot breakfast in the winter or a cool drink in the summer ...that is quite the trade off if you ask me.

So here is to husbands.

Husbands that get up early, and the ones that get home early.

Husbands that pull an extra shift for some extra cash, and the ones that turn down a shift for extra family time.

Husbands that make the big bucks, and the ones that make a big difference.

Husbands that are great bosses, and the ones that impress their bosses.

Husbands that went to college, and the ones that went to work.

Husbands that served their country, and the ones that serve their communities.

Husbands that love their wives as Christ loved the church, and the ones who try to.

Husbands who pray for the kids, and the ones whose kids pray for them.

Husbands who bring home the bacon, and the ones who cook the bacon.

Husbands who go to church, and the ones who need to go to church.

Husbands who have tea parties with their little girls, and ones who watch from from afar.

Husbands who send roses, and ones that pick them.

Husbands who kiss you goodnight, and ones who kiss you good morning.

Husbands who play sports with their kids, and ones that play video games with their kids.

Husbands who save money, and the ones who spend it.

Husbands that have been faithful, and the ones that have been remorseful.

Husbands that make you laugh, and the ones who hold you when you cry.

Husbands who lead, and the ones that listen.

Husbands that do everything right, and the ones who make everything all right.



I imagine that all of our husbands are as vastly different from each other as we are. So today, I celebrate them for whatever they bring to your family, the good, the bad, and the really good.

Now get off the computer, and go love on your man!!!!

I'm a little Pee-pot

Big Daddy, who has a lot of amazing qualities, also has a handful of annoying ones. For example....he can aggravate you in a heart beat....but the worse part is that he doesn't let up once your aggravated. Instead he just pokes and prods until you are ready to literally RUN AWAY. FOREVER!!! This was my perdicament the other night in the kitchen when this conversation took place.

BD: Come on Babe...I'm not that BAD
Me: Oh, yes you are. Leave me alone and get out of the kitchen
BD: Really, Babe....I just want to be near you...I've missed you all day(remember this is not sweet nothings...its the aggravation game...trying to not only "get my goat" but slaughter it as well)
Me: You know honey, I've been thinking
BD: what about darlin'?
Me: I once heard on a show about self defense that if someone is trying to abduct you, that you should pee on yourself because they wont want to take you anywhere if you just peed your pants.
BD: what does that have to do with anything?
Me: Well, I am thinking about peeing my pants just so you would leave me alone and let me cook dinner.

Pretty Woman

Last night I took The Beez to the Ballet for the first time.  

While I am not endorsing the movie Pretty Woman, if you have seen it, think back to the scene were Julia Roberts arrives at the Polo match.  As soon as the team scores, she starts cheering, a la Arsenial Hall with the dog pound style fist pumping in the air.

That was kind of how my little princess acted when she cheered for the ballet dancers.  Instead of just clapping, she started "woohoo-woohoo-woohoo-wooho!!!!!!"  All in a priceless 5 year old high pitched squeal/scream.  

All made even funnier by the fact that we were sitting in the upper section, but on the front row, so every time she started in, the people below us would kind of turn around and try to find the source.

I guess, even at the Ballet, refinement is hard to come by if you live in our house.

She's going to be a doctor...

The Beez just had the following conversation with her brothers:

Beez: I need some medicine because I am sick

Crack: How did you get sick?

Beez: Remember when Kannon was sick? She had hand, foot and mouth disease? Remember that? Do you remember?

Snake: Yeah, I remember that.

Beez: Well, I have the foot part.

Crack: What do you mean you have the foot part?

Beez: Well, mom always says that I am going to get sick if I don't put socks on in the winter. And it is winter right now, which means it's cold.

Snake: Okay????

Beez: Well, I took my socks off on Saturday and my feet got cold....that means that I got foot disease, cause now I am coughing and have a runny nose.

Sometimes NOT correcting your child is the best medicine.

When your child quotes the Bible...to your other child

So, I was just sitting here, working on my 200th post when I overhead the following conversation from the kitchen...

Crack (who is almost 12 to Beez who is 5): "you need to stop messing around, it's time for lunch." Beez: "I am just playing with Snake"
Crack: "I know you are just playing, but you are being disobedient. Mom said for us to get our lunch made and not to waste time. The BIBLE says that you should obey your mother and father, and you are not doing that are you?"
Beez: "No, I am not. I will be obedient and get my lunch ready like Mom said"

Me, to myself, "is that a good thing or a bad thing??? Part of me is thinking, 'way to go Crack!!!'...the other part is thinking, 'take your own advice'.....mostly I am thinking, "he ALREADY sounds like his mother!!!! (poor thing)"

Just trying to make a point...

Sometimes, when homeschooling your children, you have to go to the end of the world to get one of them to understand a new concept or even just a simple project.

Crack, who is in 6th grade, loves to do reports on figures he is learning about, especially if he gets to role play. Tell him to imagine he is actually walking around the walls of Jericho, and watch out, he will blow your socks off with vivid imagery and relate able feelings.

Snake, on the other hand, loathes role playing, at least in school. Don't get me wrong, the kid actually has a more vivid imagination than his older brother, but somehow when asked to use it scholastically, and he clams up.

Today, Snake had to write a short report based on the story of the King Belshazzar in Daniel. Specifically on the writing on the wall story. His instructions are simple, read the passage, and then describe the account in your own words including the translation of the words written on the wall. In addition, he needs to IMAGINE that he is at the kings table when it all takes place and describe his feelings in relation to the nights strange and powerful encounter with the Holy God.

After he retells the event as laid out in the scripture...he hits a wall. Blank stares and absolutely no desire to "go there" in his imagination he calls for me.
I read his completed portion, which was fine and then ask him to IMAGINE he was at the table when it actually happened.

Again, a blank stare. Not even a hint of imagination in his eyes. At this point, in my frustration I look down and try to keep my composure(and my hands to myself). When I look back up, I spot Snakes newest pride and joy, a Lego robot, complete with guns and fighter guys to help protect him. I then remembered his explanation of all of his parts the previous night. You see, the Lego robot had something that NO OTHER Lego Robot in the history of Lego Robots has ever been privy to have....a goober gun, two actually.

So, I grab the Lego Robot, goober gun and all and explain to Snake that his IMAGINATION thought up the goober gun...that no one else on the planet would have had the IMAGINATION to do that. So just like he used his imagination to think up that, he needed to use it to think of being at the kings table.(sans the goober guns)

When all else fails, just use the goober guns to get the job done.

Thanksgiving,Black Friday,and Krispy Kreme

Here is part 2, if you missed part 1 you are so out of the loop, you may never recover. Just kidding, I am the one out of the loop and this is my attempt at catching up. Today's make up topics include Thanksgiving, Black Friday and even our "field trip" to Krispy Kreme.

Every year we head to the Outlaws house down south and spend the Thanksgiving holiday with them. It is not really a HUGE gathering, usually just the Outlaws, my husbands two uncles and their wives, and the 5 of us. BUT, you would NEVER know that by how many things we prepare every Thanksgiving, or the shear quantity that we surround ourselves with on this day every year. Here is the rundown:

Turkey
Spiral Ham
Dressing
Sweet Potato Casserole
Homemade Mac-N-Cheese
Green Bean Casserole #1 with water chestnuts
Green Bean Casserole #2 with artichoke hearts
Corn Salad
Fruit Salad #1 with coconut
Fruit Salad #2 without coconut
Deviled eggs - appetizer
Pinwheels - appetizer
Pickles and Olives and Pimento Cheese on celery
Raspberry Jello Salad
Panseet-uncles wife is Filipino and this is like a rice noodle chow mein....so yummy
Lumpia - same wife, these are like tiny egg rolls, more like a taquito...also super yummy
Rolls and Gravy
Pumpkin Pie #1
Pumpkin Pie #2
Pecan Pie

So, basically we had 13 people and 20 items....that is so INSANE!!!! In our defense, this is the ONLY big meal we make all year. We don't do an Easter meal or a Christmas Feast...we just do Thanksgiving in a HUGE way.

This year we also had a first.

This photo is serving as PROOF that my husband actually helped with the cooking once in 13 years. Of course after this photo op he was back to watching the parade and eating the deviled eggs(his normal activity of choice during the prep)

This photo is NOT a first. My F-I-L (half of the Outlaws) ALWAYS cleans up behind me on Thanksgiving day...I love a man with dishpan hands!!!!



This is Crack and Mamaw(the other half of the Outlaws)


I love this pic solely because it looks like I am shorter than my Man...which I am, but only by an inch...this pic either makes me 5'8" or him 6'4"...I'll take either.


Saturday we trekked to Krispy Kreme, where the boys handed in their report cards(yes, even homeschoolers get report cards) and received a donut for each "A". Beez was not pleased that I left her out of the report card/donut give-a-way...but cut me some slack, she only eats the sprinkles off the donuts, not the donuts themselves(such a travesty, I know) I promised her next time I would have her a report card too.

Husband and the Outlaws...can you tell he loves Krispy Kreme?


Mamaw, Beez, and Pappy


He is his fathers son...the kid LOVES Krispy Kreme.

He is SO NOT JOKING...he claims the fallen glaze is like fries in the bottom of a Micky D's bag...you have to eat them..and so it goes with the glaze. Although I did make him restrain himself enough from actually LICKING the box...instead he licked his finger and dipped it in the pile of yummy goodness.

Last but not least, and really this should be a post in and of itself. We are those crazy people who go shopping the day after Thanksgiving. We are the REALLY crazy ones. We were up 2:30am, and were the FIRST in line at Target at 3 am. By opening time (6am) there were 500+ people. We split up and had all of our loot and were checking out at 6:04(me) and 6:07(him). We had everything in the car and were heading back into Target at 6:09 for a potty break when the local TV station stopped us for an interview for their live broadcast. (we had already been interviewed for being the first in line)

After that we headed across the street and made a quick dash into HomeDepot. I grabbed a buggy full of items, and even three 99 cents poinsettias and checked out. While I was doing that, my husband found one more item and got in line himself. Now, while we do set aside cash for Christmas shopping every year, we actually charge everything the day of because the one year we carried cash I was a nervous wreck. It also makes it easier for returns so that way if we buy something and then find it for less somewhere else, it is no problem and doesn't tie up twice the cash.

Anyway, I say all that because when he got to the checkout our credit card was declined, which was shocking beacuse I KNEW we had 4x the amount of what we had budgeted for Christmas free our our credit card, and it was weird since his amount was only $20. I told him not to worry, just use the debit card instead.

Well, 8 hours later, when we got home I was checking email and I received a notice that our card had been frozen due to fraudulent usage. I was worried because my credit has been hacked into before and it is such a headache!!!! But, I called the number and this is what the nice lady told me (after verifying like 100 different things from age, address, 2nd born's birth weight, what I ate last night(see previous list) and so on....and I quote, " Mrs. Laughing Momma, we froze your account because BOTH of the cards assigned to this account were used minutes apart at the same store, and then again just a few minutes later at a different store. Can you verify if you did indeed make these purchases???? They were at Target- 6:04 am and 6:07 am and then HomeDepot at 6:13 and then 6:15" I replied, "Yes, I am happy to say that my waiting in line for three hours paid off, we are guilty of power shopping,(and later dropping) the day after Thanksgiving" Mrs Credit Card closed our conversation with, "Well, Mrs Laughing Momma, I am sorry for any inconvenience this may have caused you(that would be a glare from my husband...you know the kind that turns him into the Incredible Hulk...and a hundred questions on whether or not our last bill had been paid....not so pleasant) and we hope that you continue to enjoy our services...I will flag your account so that next year when the computer tries to falsely accuse you, the card holder of fraud, it will overlook the fact that it is practically impossible to be 4 places almost simultaneously, we will remember that you are Super Woman...just out looking for a good deal."

"Thank you, please see to it, cause I may be Super Woman, but I am no match for the Incredible Hulk"

Not Me Monday 11/17/08

*******UPDATED********

It seems everyday during the week, I have random thoughts of..."THIS is so going to be a 'Not Me " entry next week." but then, in the utter craziness of my life I forget them and try to pinch out what little remembrance I do have at the end of a very long week. So, here goes.

I did not buy the cutest white maternity top from Old Navy this week because I am NOT pregnant and that would just be absolutely crazy..(but for those of you who do not believe me, at least understand that I am really tall and I have issues with finding long shirts...and sometimes, just sometimes the extra length bequeathed to maternity tops hits me just great and I can not resist.)

I did not run away from the Monkey Exhibit at the Zoo last week when the Monkeys stopped being Monkeys and started doing "Monkey Business" Cause I am one of those cool moms who totally are down with the "How babies are made" talk...or at least I was until EVERY body part started having an alter ego within the minds of my growing boys.

I did not find and buy the cutest shoes at Target last week while shopping with my sister...because we were Christmas shopping...NOT shoe shopping. And they were NOT an amazing deep purple Mary Jane-like flat because there is no way that I would have anything to wear them with...oh and they were only $9.98!!!!

I did not buy my oldest son almost $100 worth of clothes for Christmas and almost fall out right there in the middle of Belks. Cause $100 is not THAT big a deal...did I mention that it was only FOUR items...and that usually when I spend a hundred bucks at a department store it is because it was an ADDITIONAL 50% off an already 75%...which is basically FREE and like twenty items MINIMUM!!!! I thought they would have to shock my heart to bring me back.

I did not spend 8 of the past 9 nights up with one or more of my children for PROLONGED periods of time and various cough-choke-gag-cough again-hint of fever-you better not puke on my bed maladies...cause that would be INSANE and I would then not be able to be a rational level headed mother in the morning.

I did not threaten my children with NO THANKSGIVING OR CHRISTMAS break if they did not make their fall goals...cause that would mean that I MIGHT NOT GET A THANKSGIVING OR CHRISTMAS break....and you don't want to see me at Easter if I missed Christmas.

I did not use the 1-2-3 punch of Tacos(for Saturday dinner), Hello Kitty Nightie(for Saturday dessert), and Meatloaf(Sunday after church meal) to make up to my husband the fact that I spent 4nights and 5days with my sister...cause I never use the power of a good meal and a great nightie to my advantage.

*****UPDATED*******

I have 6 sisters and 5 brothers...a few of who regularly read this blog. One of them sent me the following email with her own "Not Me" list. I couldn't help but post it...and I agree...she TOTALLY beats mine this week.

So I can't comment anymore on your blog for some reason, but here goes my Not Me Monday story... are you ready for it... I meant to leave it a couple weeks ago when it happened but at that time realized I couldn't leave comments for you under "name" anymore

So here it is...
I did not go with my friend/employer to a super fancy French
lingerie boutique while I was working. While we were Not there, I did Not
try on mulitple bra-panty combos that made me look and feel as expensive as they
were. Although all of the panties I tried on were done so over the thong I
was wearing, I did Not forget to remove the last pair of $50 grey undies from my
buttox and put my pants on over them with the tag blatanly hanging out the
back! After my purchase of the cheapest bra and panty combo they had at
the store, we walked out to the car and my friend Jennifer did Not shriek as I
leaned into the Expedition to strap her little man into his carseat as she saw
the tag to the $50 grey panties hanging out. I did Not jump into the front
seat, strip down as an old man pulled up into the spot next to us(AHHH!!), take
them off and sheepishly take them back into the overpriced French
boutique. Now I don't think the French owner believed my story, but that
doesn't matter because it did Not happen!
AHH!!!
That tops them all for
me.
Love ya,

The Great Surprise

So, it has been a tough week. We have been hitting the books pretty hard in school and trying to retain information for more than just a fleeting moment, which for mine can be a challenge at times. To add to that, The Beez started running mystery fever Tuesday night and all day Wednesday, which meant that her and I stayed home from church. I thought I would just enjoy my time with her, since although she has had a fever, her only other symptom was wanting to be attached to me permanently the last 48 hours. So, after the kitchen was cleaned up from dinner, we laid on the couch and watched Jon & Kate Plus 8...a favorite of us both. The husband called a few times to check in on us, and then after church took the boys to Sonic for ice cream. I told him Beez was in our bed watching tv and I was about to jump in the shower. He reminded he still had to get milk but that he would be home shortly.
So, there I am in the shower, washing my hair, and honestly in pretty deep thought, when the shower curtain is pulled back...and SURPRISE...my sister from California...is standing in my bathroom....with a VIDEO CAMERA!!!! Yeah, you read it right....me in the shower, her with a video camera....it was pretty HILARIOUS...But how surprised and happy can you be when your little sister is here for a surprise visit...but you are kind of shocked about the whole naked in the shower with a video camera?????
To be honest...it was PG-13 at most...but come on...I was trying to be happy shocked surprised...but I just stood there wrapped in the curtain, hair full of lathered shampoo, saying, "Okay...really...OMGosh...Kelly....How did????....Hey did you know????...turn the camera off....really....Okay....Kelly...the camera"
So the moral of this surprise story is this...Surprises are great...come visit us anytime....I love surprises....and my husband knew about it, helped plan it, and kept it a TOTAL secret...but come on...in the shower...give the girl some heads up...you can only be so happily surprised while naked in the shower.

Best shot of the night!!!!

I have a lot to say about the RNC last night, but I had to get this out there. It was my favorite shot of the night.

Pouring Down Rain

Last weekend we were at the Outlaws house and the sky was totally falling out. I needed to run into the grocery store to pick up a few things, while Jeff and the boys waited in the car. As I was quickly filling my mini cart and waiting for balloons to be blown up, the following conversation was happening in the car.

Jeff: This rain is unreal. I can not even see the road. This is just crazy bad rain, I don't think it could be any worse.

Jake from the cheap seats: It could be raining watermelons Dad!!!

Jeff: Okay, so it could be worse

She's a Girly Girl

****UPDATED****






I am not a girly girl, but somehow she is. If she can paint it, brush it, curl it, spray it, you name it, and she will. Maybe one day, by osmosis, I too will be a girly girl.

Update: I just read this entry to Micah, and this was the conversation that followed.

Micah: "Momma, you can not be a girly girl. "

Me: "Why not?"

Micah: "Because you can not be a 'Hot Momma' AND a "Girly Girl."

Gotta love the reasoning of a near five year old.

Beijing 2008

I LOVE THE OLYMPICS!!!!

Really, I do. I love the sport of it. Swimming, diving, gymnastics, track and field, gosh I could go on and on. I love the story pieces that the networks show about the athletes. I love a good story, you gotta know them to love them.

Our church is doing a Olympic theme for the sermons, and each SS class is praying for individual athletes. A funny side note on that...I was not in SS when they came around and explained what they wanted each class to do, because I was filling in for the teacher who was making the announcement. So that meant that I had to get the low down from my boys. So this was the conversation on the way home from church on Sunday.

Me: How was class today guys?

Boys: Fine

Jake: Ms Linda came around and wants our class to sponsor a christian athlete during the Olympics.

Me: really Jake, that is so cool

Jake: Yeah, I picked....(at this point he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny slip of paper)...I picked Bryan Clay

Jared: Hey, I didn't get to pick someone. How come I didn't get to have one?

Me: I have no idea Jared?

Jake: I was the one sitting at the end of the table so I pulled the name out of the basket. But he is mine, cause I picked him.

Me: What does he compete in?

Jake: track and Field

Me: What do they want you to do while he is competing?

Jake: I don't know, they just want us to SPONSOR him Mom, we don't have to do anything.

Me: Well, maybe you could pray for him, and follow him online?

Jake: Whatever, I am just going to sponsor him. This is my guy.

Then later that day, he was cleaning his room and he came and asked for some tape. I questioned him because we had just painted his room I REALLY did not want tape on the walls. He assured me he wouldn't put it on the walls and away he went.

That night, he came to me and showed me his chap stick(he is an addict, really he is, he has it with him AT ALL TIMES, he even sleeps with it in his waistband of his pj bottoms)
He held it up proudly to show me. It was now covered with not only an obscene amount of DUCK TAPE but also the little slip of paper that had Bryan Clays name on it. You can read about him here. (He is in the Got Milk ad on the right with the track shoes around his neck.)

That was so Jake, not even really sure what "sponsor" means but knowing it meant something important. Important enough for the beloved chap stick, it might as well have been duck taped to his heart.

The Pros and Cons of Little Girls

Our youngest is a girl. After 6 years of raising little boys, I literally did not know how to "do pink". As a matter of fact, the week after I found out pink was entering our lives, I went to the mall and tried to find a beautiful "girly" dress. It was a miserable experience, really, I left in tears. After searching EVERY store...I couldn't find anything that I liked that wasn't BLUE!!! I was sure that God had made a mistake by giving us a girl, I was sure of it. Hormonally overcharged, I called my husband from the parking lot and told him that our little girl was most assuredly going to grow up hating me ...he said he didn't know anything about "pink" either, but that we would do just fine.

Fast forward 5 years. Our little angel is now approaching the BIG 5 year mark. I am not really sure where the time went, she is all about pink, high heels, feather boas, Hannah Montana, princess', baby dolls, and Justice League (just for balance!!!)

This week we had two prime examples of the good and the bad of the world of girls, indulge me while I share.

Monday night I declared the bathroom to be a Barber Shop. Both my boys needed a trim, which I say lightly, because I love their long hair, but with the heat, they needed it thinned out and a little shaping. Well, Micah thought she needed a hair cut too. I told her that she was fine, and after some convincing, she decided she would just be my helper and brush her own hair.

After both boys were done, while I was cleaning up, I hear this, "Um, Mommy. I need some help."

I approached her and found the following:






That would be a three sided teasing comb embedded in her precious locks.

After ten minutes with no luck my husband becomes worried that I might need to cut it out. I assured him that was not an option, even if she had to graduate high school with it still in there.

Then, my Tool Man Hubby says, " Let me go get my wrench"

I was appalled. "What for?!?!?!" I inquired.

"To break the comb apart" he replied.

Well, I would have NEVER thought of that so he got super BIG Kudos from me.

This is what the next 15 minutes were like in our house:






In the end, her hair was saved, the comb was in at least 50 pieces, and Daddy was the Hero.



So while a "Con" of little girls might be getting things stuck in their hair. It is totally overshadowed by the next photos.





She has totally been in a wedding phase. She has been asking all sorts of wedding related questions lately.


"Mom, when did you and Dad get married."

"Who was the flower girl?"

"Why couldn't I be your flower girl?"

"How do you find the boy you are going to marry?"

"Will you come to my wedding?"


So when I was cleaning my bedroom this morning, I decided to get my wedding dress out and let her play with my veil. After I put it on her head and she modeled in front of the mirror, she disappeared. I found her watching "Word World", just chillin on the couch.


I immediately thought, this is why you should keep your wedding dress. So your little girl can play dress up.


I told her when she got a little older, she could wear the dress too. She squealed in delight.

Pink is not so frightening after all.

Kiss and Tell

Our kids are going through this stage right now where every time my husband and I steal a kiss, they fall out and rush toward us trying to pull us apart. They would yell, "Smoochy, Smoochy" and literally try to get between us.

Sometimes, we would smooch just to get their feathers ruffed up...it really was quite funny actually. A few months back I explained to the kids that smooching with your spouse is a benefit of being married. We are suppose to love on each other like that. I also told them that if they ever saw me kissing another man, that they by all means had the right to pull us apart, but as long as it was Daddy, they needed to let us smooch whenever we wanted.

But then Tuesday night while we sat at the drive up at our local Sonic, I leaned over and beckoned for some some love from my beloved. Although he declined at first because he was hot and sweaty (we had just left the ball field following a back-to-back double header), he finally gave in (against the roars from the back seat) and smooched away. Just FYI, I am talking about a simple kiss, nothing PG-13, but we definitely put on show for their behalf.

Once again during the smooch, they begged us to stop. When we did, I turned around and said," What have I told you about moms and dads kissing?"

Micah popped up, hand raised and said, "I know, I know!!!! We can only say stop kissing if mom ever kisses someone that is not daddy."

I replied, "That's right Micah, as long as it is Daddy, I can smooch away!!!"

From the cheap seats in the back of the van, Jake pipes up, " Don't worry Dad, if I ever see Mom kissing another guy I am going to run over, jump on his back, and pound him into the ground."

Jeff replied, " Thanks Jake"

From the cheap seats again, "You're welcome Dad, I got your back."

We all fell out at this. Jake is a scrappy fighter, quick as lightning, but to envision him taking out some kissing intruder had us all busting at the seams.

Gotta love loyalty.

Another "Mom of the Year" Moment

Well, hello friends. I am actually very surprised that I made it to the computer at all today, I have been busy in my garden and in my house and then just for kicks I mowed the grass for my sweet hubby who has been working crazy hours the past few months. But, as promised, here is one of my two favorite stories from the past week.


I spent last week at Adventure Camp as a counselor with my church and although there are a weeks worth of "incidents" I could share I thought my "Mom of the Year" moment was the best. On day three, we (as in 50 3rd-5th graders and 10 crazy adults) headed out to "the Field" to play a friendly game of kickball. We were split into our teams and away we went. We were playing no outs, so that everyone could have an "at bat" and we were down to the last kicker. My son Jake was on the opposing team, and he was on second base. The ball was kicked right to me so I turned to peg my beloved 10 year old. When I did, ever so lovingly peg him, he being the dramatic son that he is, really played it up big time. In the end, he was jokingly rolling on the field, hollering something about me not lovingly him, and how could I do such a thing. But a game is a game and so both the kicker and Jake were out so we headed off the field for our teams turn to kick.


About 30 seconds into our teams "at-bat" Jake comes running off the field straight toward me crying and hanging his head down. I asked him what it was and he said "Ants, mom there are ants in my hair!!!" Well, for those of you who do not know, my Jake has a beautiful head FULL of long hair. I stood there pulling ants off one by one, ripping his shirt off we found them all over his upper body and neck. I am not kidding when I say that we pulled 50 ants out of his hair. After a few minutes of all the chaos, we decided to take the van and get him to the cabin to take a shower. We ride up the hill and go directly to my cabin, and he strips down and jumps into the shower. At this point he calls me into the shower stall and says, "look mom", and there in the bottom of the shower stall I see at least another 50 ants floating down the drain to their fully deserved death.


After his shower, I check him out, only to find welts all over his head, neck and chest.(I lost count at 40) I couldn't even begin to see or count bits on his scalp because of all of his hair. I gave him some benadryll, but he was mostly complaining about the terrible burn on his scalp. luckily another mother had some prescription strength hydro cortisone (which has the consistency of Vaseline) I then basically massaged massive amounts of this stuff into his scalp, making him look like the most greasy headed monkey ever. He chilled out in the cabin for a about thirty minutes and then, was right back in the swing of things.


When I sent my husband a text message about what had happened, he of course blamed me because I was the one who pegged him out which then was immediately followed by him rolling his head around in the ant bed....go figure????


I was thankful that it was my kid, or more correctly I was thankful that I was there, because no one could have made it better like a Mom. Sometimes, you just need your mom, even if it was her fault.


Just in case you don't believe me, I have pictures to prove it. In the first picture you can see how red his ear is....they were both like that and probably had ten bites on EACH ear!!!

Rhyme Time

If you remember back last week, I mentioned that I spent a day in the ER with mystery illness, and that it was quite the ordeal. Well I shared my experience with a new friend Amy who happens to be "gifted" at rhyming, and well, if you dare, or happen to care, the following is her rendition of said horrible day. You've been warned.



Sometimes when you're ill
And you just want to cry,
You go to the E.R.
To find out why.

They poke you and prod you
But find no good excuse
They say, "Next we'll take pictures
but first drink some 'juice'."

The liquid's so nasty.
It makes your head spin.
And you'll wonder how smart girls
Let this madness begin.

They'll finish the scan
And then ask for x-rays
And you'll pray to the Lord
Just to finish this day.

And then all of a sudden
You'll give a great shout,
"Get me to bathroom!
This liquid's gotta come out!!"

A young tech will escort you
To your impending relief.
But only afterward tells
Of your aforementioned grief.

He says every so sweetly,
"My dear Mrs. Crum,
Though it goes IN your mouth,
The liquid comes OUT your bum."

And so you finish your evening
Embarrassed, face red
And though you're glad you're not dying,
You almost wish you were dead.

(Glad you are well and hoping you'll enjoy reading this as much as I did writing it. It was a challenge! Ha.)

Unexpected Joy

A few weeks ago my sister and I got up early and headed out to go bargain hunting. She was looking for a bed for The Beast, and I was up for the field trip. As we headed down the highway, we came upon a man out jogging. He was just about to cross the road when we noticed that he had a bouquet of wild flowers in his hand. We both gushed, knowing that he had picked them along his run, and was most likely going to hand them over to his beloved upon his return home.

I remember those days...not that my husband went running, but he did on MANY occasion surprise me with flowers that he picked himself. These days, my kids are the ones who bring me flowers freshly picked. (He taught them well!) And, I am surprised in others ways, by my beloved. After 13 years, flowers just don't do it, but I love when a simple gesture is made on my behalf. Especially, when it is something I mentioned in passing, or him simply doing a chore I hate.

A few weeks ago, after much rain, I noticed that our back yard looked more like a meadow, than a yard. All sorts of clover and random little white flowers were spread beautifully between the house and my garden. When my husband said he was going to mow the back, I told him how Micah and I had been running and skipping through the meadow everyday, and loving it.
He went out and got started and then called me outside about an hour later. He said, "what do you think?" I couldn't believe my eyes. He mowed the entire yard but kept my "meadow". There it was, a rectangular meadow, probably 10X20 right smack in the middle of his precious grass.

I was so happy. It was so strange, yet utterly joyous for me. The UPS man even asked me why our yard was "landscaped" in such a fashion. I smiled and said, "Because my husband enjoys making me happy"

Who would have thought? A patch of weeds to some, but joy to me. I am grateful.

What has your beloved done for you that brought you joy in an unconventional manner?

Random Childhood Memories

I have really random memories. I am amazed at the truly quirky events, conversations, and meetings that are burned into my memory. Some, with great significance, others with no relevance to why I would remember such a event.

One night, several years ago while my mom was here visiting, we sat up till the wee hours remembering together. She was so surprised at the randomness of things I remembered. Like little vignettes of our life strewn together, she held some memories, I held others.

I have a handful of memories from before the age of 5 or 6, but the majority of my memories are after that. I have often joked, that the Lord gives the first few years to figure out how to parent, and hence the first few years of life our kids thankfully will not remember!!! Being a mom now, I wonder what crazy things my kids will remember.

Here are a few of my random memories:

• Going to Cuba(yes, the communist country) when my Dad was stationed there. I was about 4years old. I remember a lot about that trip. I ate mushrooms for the first time. They were on the pizza we ordered, and my Dad told me that if I was hungry enough I would eat them, and I was/did. My Dad and I would sneak into the base pool after hours, he taught me how to swim there, under the cover of darkness.
• Still in Cuba, I remember seeing the HUGEST frogs ever!! Seriously, the size of dinner plates just roaming on the road.
• I remember going to visit my Aunt Sippy at some country club were she was a lifeguard. I think there was a pool and a lake with a pier.
• I remember we use to get dairy product delivered to our house. My mom would order this super yummy stuff called "keifer". My favorite was raspberry. It was like a smoothie. So yummy.
• I remember going camping and playing poker with wooden matches as chips.
• I remember being in the 2nd grade and watching a video at school that showed the lungs of someone who was a smoker. They showed them next to a pair of healthy lungs. I remember vowing, right there and then to never smoke. Here was my reasoning...if I smoked even one cigarette, my lungs would turn black as night, then I would die in a tragic car accident, and my parents would be sad until the doctor showed them a picture of my lungs, and then they would be mad instead of sad, since I was a smoker.
• I remember watching Land of the Lost...thinking it was the coolest thing around. And also Sigmund the Sea Monster...I loved that show.
• My very first cassette was Olivia Newton John's "Lets get Physical" I would carry my tape player to school(the classic style, shaped like a shoe box, with the flip top to open it. It weighed a ton!!!) and we would all go out in the field and turn it up as loud as possible and sing at the top of our lungs.

I wonder what some of your random memories are?

Jealousy

The following is one of the many posts that were started and never posted due to the time constraints of our remodeling process. This was from the first week of April.

I have so much I want to share. Our life has been very chaotic the last week with both a wedding and a birthday on our schedule, hence all the stories that I want to throw out there.

First let me start with the wedding. A friend of ours was getting married, we have known the groom for a while, and we have gotten to know the bride over the past few years, but we have never met any of her family or friends. My husband was asked to be a groomsman, which I looked forward to since, as I have stated before he is not a suit wearin' man, he's a jeans wearin' man. So, when the opportunity arises for a tux, I get a little beside myself.(In thirteen years, he has never worn a traditional suit, and he has only worn a tux at our wedding and both my sisters weddings...so I was due for a day of refinement)

As the day approached, I was looking forward to a day of fun and relaxation. I was sadly mistaken. When we arrived at the rehearsal, it suddenly hit me that someone else was going to be on his arm during the ceremony, and that did not sit very well with me. You should know that I, by nature am NOT a jealous person. If I were to calculate how many jealous bones were in my body, I would have to confess that maybe the little toe on my right foot struggles at times. But really, it is rarely something that I have to deal with.

That being said...forget it.

When my eyes fell upon the young, blond, never-had-a-baby-flat-bellied, twenty something girl, my almost forty something husband was going to escort, my entire being became green with jealousy.

I tried at first to cut her some slack, maybe she was sweet and harmless. But then she started to lean into my husband and giggle as they rehearsed the recessional. That did it, I was on the verge of falling out. (As in take her out)


Somehow, I made it through the rehearsal and the wedding, but then came the reception. I was like a hawk on the prowl, with my eyes set on the varmint. Now, let me say, on behalf of varmints, that field mice do not know that they are varmints. They live their life scurrying about, not knowing that they could possibly be scooped up and ravished by a mother hawk, hence becoming dinner for the offspring. In nature that may work. But we were not in nature, we were in the country club. And, let me give a shout out to all twenty somethings out there. When a man is spoken for, back off. Don't giggle, and for sure don't touch his arm when you do it. That is like putting a target on your back, and it makes it much easier for the prey to lock in and go for the kill.


One of my dearest girlfriends, who will go unnamed to protect her identity, totally had my back. She was ready to either pray me through this episode, or to hold down the varmint as I laid her out. She, like a good friend, totally understood my point of view. Her husband was the only other none 20-something in the wedding party. On a side note, we were HILARIOUS!!! I mean to tell you, we had every angle covered.(as well as every exit!!!) I had pretty much decided that she, the varmint, was either CLUELESS or STUPID. Either way it did not matter, I had my eye on her.

At one point during the reception I went to speak to our pastor and his wife. Don't think too highly of me, for I was not going to seek counsel, I was just going to say "hi." During our chat, my pastors wife said, "I thought it was so sweet during the ceremony, when Jeff looked at you and winked." To which I responded, "Ms Donna, I am having a hard time recalling the sweetness of that moment since it was followed by my husband having the arm of another, much younger women wrapped with his" She replied, " I know isn't she the cutest thing?" Trying to control myself I added,"Ms Donna, don't bait me, right now I really want to take her out." At that, my pastor sealed the deal with, "I'm not worried April. You could TOTALLY take her." I knew I loved him.

My opinion was sealed when, during the reception she danced with a bunch of different guys in ways that, in my opinion, were not wedding reception appropriate.
I hit the limit when, while my man was dancing sweetly with our daughter, she was dancing with the aforementioned parade of men. I promise you , I was ready to bum rush her at the first sight of her coming within 3 feet of my man. I was really sitting there, with my back-up(my girlfriend) just waiting. I really thought it was going to be an all out girl fight.

Luckily, for her, she was distracted or in fear, and she kept her distance. As we packed up and headed home, I thought the jealousy would subside. I knew the next morning in church, I would have to come clean, and deal with the sin that fueled my behavior. I was not looking forward to the service, knowing that somehow, whenever I have to deal with something, the Lord ALWAYS makes sure that the sermon hits me straight between the eyes.

Well, it did. In a way I never could have imagined.

Our pastor is known for using a lot of relevant news and world happenings in his sermons. Well, this one was no different. The Internet and probably your email has been smack full of items regarding Oprah and her "spiritual" teachings on the web. I had really not cared much about all the hoop-la. Although I am a fan of some of her shows, I am not a die hard nor a "follower." But then he played a clip from the web cast. I have tried to find it, but I guess I am not the Internet savvy.

In the clip she takes a video phone question from a viewer. She asked Oprah how she rectified her new beliefs (in regards to the new ageism) with her Christian beliefs that she was brought up with.

Her response was something like this. I have always believed in a power greater than myself. And during times in my life I have conformed to certain religious beliefs. But the turning point for me came years ago as I sat in a very prominent church and listened to the message being given. From the pulpit, the minister said, "God is a Jealous God." And I started to think to myself, well, I know that He is a loving God, and a righteous God, but Jealous? God is jealous of me? That made me realize that I did not want to adhere to the belief system.

I felt so sorry for Oprah at that moment. And my Pastor, immediately corrected her thought process, by reminding us that God is not jealous OF us...He was jealous FOR us.

During the rest of the sermon, he sighted verse after verse of how God is jealous for us. That He desires for us to only have eyes for Him. That His jealousy was a righteous jealousy...for our benefit, He desires us to love him completely and to love Him exclusively. It was VERY powerful. I saw my actions from the night before in a new light. Not necessarily justifying my thoughts, but definitely giving them perspective.

I started to see that I was not jealous of the twenty-something. I was jealous for the attention of my beloved.(which, by the way, I never really questioned...my focus was always on the varmint) I was however, threatened by the fact that she could draw his attention away from me and onto her. I was Jealous for my husband. Simple as that.

But more importantly, I started to see how my daily actions, robbed my Lord from my affections. Oh, how wonderful to follow a God who is not jealous of things that take our focus off Him. But instead He reserves His jealously, strictly FOR us. He is not swayed (like I was) by the distraction that takes our attention. He is solely focused on us, and our attention on Him.

That is where I made my mistake. I focused on the distraction.

Oh, Lord keep my eyes on you. Help me to see truth in a dark world. Guide me to your heart that I may dwell in the presence of your glory. May my heart belong only to you and may I be given the opportunity to serve you daily. Thank you for this life lesson. Thank you for loving me so much that anything that takes my love away from you makes you burn with jealousy. I am humbled that you love me so much that you are JEALOUS for me with divine jealousy. Make me ever aware of where your jealousy resides...for me not of me.