I can not believe it has been almost a week since I last posted something out in the blogosphere. For that I am truly sorry. I ended last week sick as a dog. I spent all day Friday in the bed not emerging until midday Saturday, and even having emerged, I was still not fully with it. Then came a whirlwind of Sunday activities and the in-laws arriving for a visit. Top that off with a flurry of activity on Monday and I am once again worn out.
We are in the beginning stages of a complete kitchen remodel, plus laying new floors in the living areas, the hall and the kitchen. And since we are laying new floors, we thought why not re-paint everything while we are at it.
Here is what we have done so far: torn out a wall to open up the kitchen, removed all the kitchen cabinets, except the one that holds the kitchen sink, and thoroughly messed up our daily living arrangements as well as our free time over the next 3 or 4 months.
First, let me say, that I am so excited about having a NEW kitchen. It is long overdue, anyone who has stepped foot into our house would agree that our kitchen has never been good for us, and we have lived here for 8 years!!! In the old kitchen, I had 2feet of counter space on each side of the sink.....and that was it!!!! Talk about a cramped kitchen...it was ridiculous.
And now, here we are, remodeling and I am miserable.
Not only because we are currently in TOTAL disarray, but because I HATE the little things. My husband can vouch for this...I am all about a new project, but I like to get in there and do it. I do not like to have to hassle with the little stuff. In my mind, I'm thinking, take out the old cabinets, order the new ones, install them, and ta-dah the kitchen is done. I don't like to think about patching drywall, re-painting, re-wiring, plumbing, etc. I am definitely a big picture kind of person, not a details person.
Remodeling our kitchen ourselves, really puts me between a rock and a hard place. I am already growing impatient, and we are just now starting. As I sat this morning, thinking of the uphill battle we have ahead of us and the huge amount of work we are taking on, I began to think of how appropriate remodeling is for the soul. And I began to wonder how often my Heavenly Father must grow impatient with me as I focus on the Big Picture and let the little things fall by the wayside in my own Spiritual journey.
I began to think about all the verses that speak of us being "a new creation" in Christ. I of course started there, since that fits with my get 'er done mentality. I am all about the new...it's chipping away with the old, and being refitted with the new, that is painful.
Romans chapter 6 says this in the Message:
1-3So what do we do? Keep on sinning so God can keep on forgiving? I should hope not! If we've left the country where sin is sovereign, how can we still live in our old house there? Or didn't you realize we packed up and left there for good? That is what happened in baptism. When we went under the water, we left the old country of sin behind; when we came up out of the water, we entered into the new country of grace—a new life in a new land! 6-11Could it be any clearer? Our old way of life was nailed to the cross with Christ, a decisive end to that sin-miserable life—no longer at sin's every beck and call! What we believe is this: If we get included in Christ's sin-conquering death, we also get included in his life-saving resurrection. We know that when Jesus was raised from the dead it was a signal of the end of death-as-the-end. Never again will death have the last word. When Jesus died, he took sin down with him, but alive he brings God down to us. From now on, think of it this way: Sin speaks a dead language that means nothing to you; God speaks your mother tongue, and you hang on every word. You are dead to sin and alive to God. That's what Jesus did.
12-14That means you must not give sin a vote in the way you conduct your lives. Don't give it the time of day. Don't even run little errands that are connected with that old way of life. Throw yourselves wholeheartedly and full-time—remember, you've been raised from the dead!—into God's way of doing things. Sin can't tell you how to live. After all, you're not living under that old tyranny any longer. You're living in the freedom of God.
Let me start with the end..."living in the freedom of God" needs to be my reminder that I am not a slave to the old, I have been redeemed. But why do I get so caught up in the remodeling process of the soul? Why can't my human nature just slip into my "new" persona? Why do I keep re-visiting my old country like the verse states. Why am I complaining about having my old parts ripped out, when I KNOW that the new ones will "fit" me so much better? The transformation is the problem, not the preexisting framework, and not the new framework. It is the "transforming" of our minds that I fight. As my DH use to say, before he gave his life to Christ, "If God wanted me to change my ways, he would have me wake up and be changed, I wouldn't have to do a thing." That is so how I want this remodel to go. (both the kitchen and my soul) I just want the finished project.
But, here in lies the irony. I LOVE the process. I HATE it, but I love it just the same. I hate the hangups and the mess ups, but I love the choices and the newness of the process. So, basically, I guess I like no worries, pain-free kind of transformations. Am I alone, here?
One final thought. I loved the part of the verse that said, " Or didn't you realize we packed up and left there for good?" I love the mentality that is shared with the reader. Like, "come on stupid, what were you thinking?" How often do I play "dumb" when it comes to honoring and obeying my Lord? I want to have it both ways, and He is not satisfied with my half-hearted attempts. How lucky am I that He does not leave me half transformed, like my kitchen, but instead He sees it through till the end.
May your journey be thoughtful, and your transformation complete.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
But Wait....
It seems like the last few weeks of going back and forth seeking an answer to our "big move" question has been like a merry-go-round rather than the teeter-totter I thought it was. While we were "in the midst" of the process it seemed like the ONLY options were going or not going, hence the feeling of being on a never ending teeter-totter. But, now, stepping back and seeing the journey itself, we are able to see so many things that we would have missed if all we were looking for was the answer itself.
Ironically, in the end, choosing not to move seemed like not making a decision at all to some. But, because from the very start we vowed to seek Him, we are now seeing blessings that I can not even begin to share them with you. Mainly because a lot of what was learned was, in the worlds eyes, minuscule, and yet for us life altering. And some lessons learned were between us the Lord. Not secret, just private. (thanks Bridget for that reminder)
I am so grateful to have ridden the Merry-go-round until the Great Conductor has deemed it time to get off. Oh, what I would have missed if I would have jumped off early.
Truly, the greatest lesson learned was in the waiting.
''WAIT"
Desperately, helplessly,longingly, I cried:
Quietly, patiently, lovingly God replied.
I begged and I wept for a clue to my fate,
and the Master so gently said, "Child, you must wait."
"Wait, you say, wait!" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is Your hand shortened? Or have You not heard?
By Faith I have asked, and I am claiming Your Word.
My future and all to which I can relate
Hangs in the balance, and You tell me to WAIT?
"I'm needing a "Yes" a go-ahead sign.
Or even a "No" to which I can resign.
And Lord, You promised that if we believe
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord, I've been asking, and this is my cry:
"I'm weary of asking! I need a reply!
"Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate
As my Master replied once again, "You must wait."
So, I slumped in my chair, defeated and taunted
grumbled to God, "So I'm waiting....for what?"
He seemed then to kneel
And His eyes wept with mine,
And He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens, and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead, and cause mountains to run."
"All you seek, I could give, and pleased you would be.
You would have what you want-- But, you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of My love for each saint;
You'd not know the power I give to the faint;
You'd not learn to see through the clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there;
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me;
When darkness and silence were all you could see.
You'd never experience that fullness of love
As the peace of My Spirit descends like a dove;
You'd know that I give and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of my heart."
"The glow of My comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight,
The depth that's beyond getting just what you have asked
Of an infinite God, who makes what you have last."
"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that, "My Grace is sufficient for thee.
"Yes, your dreams for your loved one overnight would come true,
But oh, the loss if I lost what I'm doing in you!"
"So, be silent, My child and in time you will see...
That the greatest of gifts is to get to know Me.
And though oft' may My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still, "Wait.""
Ironically, in the end, choosing not to move seemed like not making a decision at all to some. But, because from the very start we vowed to seek Him, we are now seeing blessings that I can not even begin to share them with you. Mainly because a lot of what was learned was, in the worlds eyes, minuscule, and yet for us life altering. And some lessons learned were between us the Lord. Not secret, just private. (thanks Bridget for that reminder)
I am so grateful to have ridden the Merry-go-round until the Great Conductor has deemed it time to get off. Oh, what I would have missed if I would have jumped off early.
Truly, the greatest lesson learned was in the waiting.
''WAIT"
Desperately, helplessly,longingly, I cried:
Quietly, patiently, lovingly God replied.
I begged and I wept for a clue to my fate,
and the Master so gently said, "Child, you must wait."
"Wait, you say, wait!" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is Your hand shortened? Or have You not heard?
By Faith I have asked, and I am claiming Your Word.
My future and all to which I can relate
Hangs in the balance, and You tell me to WAIT?
"I'm needing a "Yes" a go-ahead sign.
Or even a "No" to which I can resign.
And Lord, You promised that if we believe
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord, I've been asking, and this is my cry:
"I'm weary of asking! I need a reply!
"Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate
As my Master replied once again, "You must wait."
So, I slumped in my chair, defeated and taunted
grumbled to God, "So I'm waiting....for what?"
He seemed then to kneel
And His eyes wept with mine,
And He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens, and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead, and cause mountains to run."
"All you seek, I could give, and pleased you would be.
You would have what you want-- But, you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of My love for each saint;
You'd not know the power I give to the faint;
You'd not learn to see through the clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there;
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me;
When darkness and silence were all you could see.
You'd never experience that fullness of love
As the peace of My Spirit descends like a dove;
You'd know that I give and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of my heart."
"The glow of My comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight,
The depth that's beyond getting just what you have asked
Of an infinite God, who makes what you have last."
"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that, "My Grace is sufficient for thee.
"Yes, your dreams for your loved one overnight would come true,
But oh, the loss if I lost what I'm doing in you!"
"So, be silent, My child and in time you will see...
That the greatest of gifts is to get to know Me.
And though oft' may My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still, "Wait.""
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Good, "Clean" Bathroom Humor
We have been remodeling our kids bathroom since just before Christmas, and I am excited to say that it is finally done. Living with just one bathroom has been tough, but to have two toilets, and two showers again has been wonderful. Just this weekend I moved the kids shower items out of our master bath and into their new digs. It was this action that brought about the following "conversation" the other day.
DH: (from the shower) You have got to be kidding me!
Me: (to myself in the other room) What's he barking about?
DH: (still from the shower) Why is a grown man being forced to use this?
Me: (still talking to myself) What is he talking about?
DH: (yep, still in the shower) Never in my life did I think I would be using "Passion Fruit Smoothie" shampoo. What is the world coming to?
Me: (now falling off the bed in secret laughter) HeHe... I bet he's enjoying too!!!!
Obviously, with the kids shampoo gone he was "forced" to use my inexpensive girly indulgence...V05 Moisture Milks Passion Fruit Smoothie Shampoo.
It smells so yummy you'd think you should be counting calories.
DH: (from the shower) You have got to be kidding me!
Me: (to myself in the other room) What's he barking about?
DH: (still from the shower) Why is a grown man being forced to use this?
Me: (still talking to myself) What is he talking about?
DH: (yep, still in the shower) Never in my life did I think I would be using "Passion Fruit Smoothie" shampoo. What is the world coming to?
Me: (now falling off the bed in secret laughter) HeHe... I bet he's enjoying too!!!!
Obviously, with the kids shampoo gone he was "forced" to use my inexpensive girly indulgence...V05 Moisture Milks Passion Fruit Smoothie Shampoo.
It smells so yummy you'd think you should be counting calories.
Weather or not?
In honor of my girlfriend Shawna(she named this entry last night), here is the following post.
Shawna and I have been friends for about 5years. Our husbands hit it off after meeting at church, and although she thought I did not like her when we first met, I assure you I did. It was the beginning of many meals prepared and eaten together, 'holiday' gift exchanges, bottle rocket wars, Casting Crowns concerts, Rodeos, ER visits, home remodeling weekends and the like.
But, when the Lord called our family to leave that church to worship and serve elsewhere, we went from seeing each other 3 or 4 times a week, to maybe once a month.
That is unless, we have nasty weather. You see, 6 or 7 years ago, their house was destroyed by a tornado, and for obvious reasons, they are still a little gun shy. So when Jr, her husband, is out of town with work, and the weather gets bad, they head over her to wait out the storm with us.
That brings us to last night. The weather was pretty nasty so we stayed up till around midnight enjoying our time together and catching up. At this point you should also know that when Shawna and my husband get together, there is A LOT of laughter between them and Shawna is usually the one trying to keep it together.
So after a long night, and more memories added to the cache, we emerge this morning not knowing when our schedules will line up again. We might not be able to "schedule " another 5 hours to sit and chat for awhile. But, I am glad that our friendship rolls with the punches just like we do. And I am grateful for the bad weather that brings us together when we least expected it.
P.S. The weather did a little trickery on us and the really bad stuff just barely missed us. Hence her comment that today's blog should be titled, "Weather or not?"
I agree, because "weather or not" we are there for each other in the REAL storms of life.
Shawna and I have been friends for about 5years. Our husbands hit it off after meeting at church, and although she thought I did not like her when we first met, I assure you I did. It was the beginning of many meals prepared and eaten together, 'holiday' gift exchanges, bottle rocket wars, Casting Crowns concerts, Rodeos, ER visits, home remodeling weekends and the like.
But, when the Lord called our family to leave that church to worship and serve elsewhere, we went from seeing each other 3 or 4 times a week, to maybe once a month.
That is unless, we have nasty weather. You see, 6 or 7 years ago, their house was destroyed by a tornado, and for obvious reasons, they are still a little gun shy. So when Jr, her husband, is out of town with work, and the weather gets bad, they head over her to wait out the storm with us.
That brings us to last night. The weather was pretty nasty so we stayed up till around midnight enjoying our time together and catching up. At this point you should also know that when Shawna and my husband get together, there is A LOT of laughter between them and Shawna is usually the one trying to keep it together.
So after a long night, and more memories added to the cache, we emerge this morning not knowing when our schedules will line up again. We might not be able to "schedule " another 5 hours to sit and chat for awhile. But, I am glad that our friendship rolls with the punches just like we do. And I am grateful for the bad weather that brings us together when we least expected it.
P.S. The weather did a little trickery on us and the really bad stuff just barely missed us. Hence her comment that today's blog should be titled, "Weather or not?"
I agree, because "weather or not" we are there for each other in the REAL storms of life.
Monday, March 3, 2008
eenie, meenie,minnie, mo
Friday, what a day. I woke up around 7am and was determined not to get out of bed until I had peace about where the Lord wanted us. I read some more of Joshua, prayed fervently, and then, when I felt His peace, I emerged feeling refreshed and focused.
We were busy with school and had to get everything done before lunch so we could head up to the church to help get ready for our Upward Basketball Celebration Service. I was trucking right along, keeping the kids on track, getting myself ready, and even baking some brownies when Jeff called from work.
He said, "I need to make the call about the job. Are we goingto Florida or not." With a peace that I can not explain, I replied, "Take the job, when I finally let God speak to me last night and this morning, He showed me that every excuse was simply fear. I trust you. Let's make the move."
He forward the paperwork to me via email for a final once over. And with that, it was done. We were going to Florida. Ironicly, I was at peace for the first time since all this mess started. I called in our oldest to tell him privately that Dad was taking the job. We had a cry, and then we got ready to head to the church.
I drove down the highway, feeling that the Lord was gracious, and that He was patient. We had both been such a mess with this whole opportunity, we did not know if we were coming or going half the time. But the decision had been made and we were REALLY moving.
Then the phone rang, it was my best friend, wanting to know why I wasn't at the church yet . I told her I had been on the phone with Jeff. She asked if she would like what we were discussing or not. I told her things were crazy and I was on my way. At this point, she kindly pointed out that she was not hanging up until I spilled the details. And with that, I said it..."we're moving."
I quickly gave her the details of how the Lord had dealt with my fear, and how I was grateful to have a husband that I trusted with our life and our future. I arrived at the church and began to fill balloons with helium, keeping busy as I was trying to sort out what our decision would mean for us. Such huge challenges, such great opportunity. I was just thinking how crazy it was for me to be excited about what the next 6 months held, considering I would be a single parent, heading up the remodel of our kitchen and packing the house. But, glad that I was obedient to my Lord, and honoring my husband by trusting him. Life was good.
Then the phone rang, again. This time it was my husband. He said, "Babe, everything that I want to have in Florida, I really want to have here. I want to raise our kids here, with family close by. I want to finish our kitchen and get things fixed up and sell our house, but I want to buy another one, here, not in Florida." I could not believe what he was saying. I started crying, sobbing really and then I started asking about his change of direction. I wanted to make sure that HE was ok with staying here.
In the end, we both found peace in unexpected places.
On a side note, you should know that for the rest of the day I kept on trying to figure out why in the world we had to go through so much trial and anguish the past few weeks, going from one extreme to the other and then back again. And then someting came to mind that I had heard on Thursday, the day before the decision was REALLY made.
I was listening to Beth Moore's teaching of Shadrach, Meshach and Abendago from her study on Daniel. One of her final points, after chronicaling their faith journey prior to being thrown into the fiery furnace, was that in the end, all that burned was the ropes that bound them. They did not smell of fire, their clothes were not burned and none of them were hurt at all. The Bible tells us in Daniel 3:24 & 25:
"Then King Nebuchadnezzar was astonished; and he rose in haste and spoke, saying to his counselors, "Did we not cast three men BOUND into the midst of the fire?" They answered and said to the king, "True, O king." "Look!" he answered, "I see four men LOOSE, walking in the midst of the fire; and they are not hurt, and the form of the fourth is like the Son of God."(emphasis mine)
Beth then made the following statement, "Sometimes, God will allow us to go through a fiery furnance of tribulation or difficulty to free us from a long standing area of bondage. I am ceratin of it, that we'll come out of that thing and will not be burned. But, you know what? Our bonds wil be burned. Our chains will be burned."
Praise the Lord, that with EVERY trial we emerge from, we emerge with the knowledge that it was not in vain. I am so excited to be freed from the bondage of fear. Especially since, prior to this expirience, I would have NEVER considered myself bound by fear. I was unaware that deep down, I was afraid of what change could do to the future that I envisioned for our family. Oh, how much better is His vision of our future, than my own.
We were busy with school and had to get everything done before lunch so we could head up to the church to help get ready for our Upward Basketball Celebration Service. I was trucking right along, keeping the kids on track, getting myself ready, and even baking some brownies when Jeff called from work.
He said, "I need to make the call about the job. Are we goingto Florida or not." With a peace that I can not explain, I replied, "Take the job, when I finally let God speak to me last night and this morning, He showed me that every excuse was simply fear. I trust you. Let's make the move."
He forward the paperwork to me via email for a final once over. And with that, it was done. We were going to Florida. Ironicly, I was at peace for the first time since all this mess started. I called in our oldest to tell him privately that Dad was taking the job. We had a cry, and then we got ready to head to the church.
I drove down the highway, feeling that the Lord was gracious, and that He was patient. We had both been such a mess with this whole opportunity, we did not know if we were coming or going half the time. But the decision had been made and we were REALLY moving.
Then the phone rang, it was my best friend, wanting to know why I wasn't at the church yet . I told her I had been on the phone with Jeff. She asked if she would like what we were discussing or not. I told her things were crazy and I was on my way. At this point, she kindly pointed out that she was not hanging up until I spilled the details. And with that, I said it..."we're moving."
I quickly gave her the details of how the Lord had dealt with my fear, and how I was grateful to have a husband that I trusted with our life and our future. I arrived at the church and began to fill balloons with helium, keeping busy as I was trying to sort out what our decision would mean for us. Such huge challenges, such great opportunity. I was just thinking how crazy it was for me to be excited about what the next 6 months held, considering I would be a single parent, heading up the remodel of our kitchen and packing the house. But, glad that I was obedient to my Lord, and honoring my husband by trusting him. Life was good.
Then the phone rang, again. This time it was my husband. He said, "Babe, everything that I want to have in Florida, I really want to have here. I want to raise our kids here, with family close by. I want to finish our kitchen and get things fixed up and sell our house, but I want to buy another one, here, not in Florida." I could not believe what he was saying. I started crying, sobbing really and then I started asking about his change of direction. I wanted to make sure that HE was ok with staying here.
In the end, we both found peace in unexpected places.
On a side note, you should know that for the rest of the day I kept on trying to figure out why in the world we had to go through so much trial and anguish the past few weeks, going from one extreme to the other and then back again. And then someting came to mind that I had heard on Thursday, the day before the decision was REALLY made.
I was listening to Beth Moore's teaching of Shadrach, Meshach and Abendago from her study on Daniel. One of her final points, after chronicaling their faith journey prior to being thrown into the fiery furnace, was that in the end, all that burned was the ropes that bound them. They did not smell of fire, their clothes were not burned and none of them were hurt at all. The Bible tells us in Daniel 3:24 & 25:
"Then King Nebuchadnezzar was astonished; and he rose in haste and spoke, saying to his counselors, "Did we not cast three men BOUND into the midst of the fire?" They answered and said to the king, "True, O king." "Look!" he answered, "I see four men LOOSE, walking in the midst of the fire; and they are not hurt, and the form of the fourth is like the Son of God."(emphasis mine)
Beth then made the following statement, "Sometimes, God will allow us to go through a fiery furnance of tribulation or difficulty to free us from a long standing area of bondage. I am ceratin of it, that we'll come out of that thing and will not be burned. But, you know what? Our bonds wil be burned. Our chains will be burned."
Praise the Lord, that with EVERY trial we emerge from, we emerge with the knowledge that it was not in vain. I am so excited to be freed from the bondage of fear. Especially since, prior to this expirience, I would have NEVER considered myself bound by fear. I was unaware that deep down, I was afraid of what change could do to the future that I envisioned for our family. Oh, how much better is His vision of our future, than my own.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Here we go again....
Do you remember my post the other day about the Lord NOT leading us to Florida...well, we are back to the discussion table. After we had "decided" not to make the move, both Jeff and I, at different times felt unsettled. That did not make for a happy household this week. We kept trying to find the humor in it, but at times we were just so frustrated with not being on the same page that we ended up not laughing at all.
My DH said it best when he said that the whole time we were looking for a "no" from God, when maybe we should have been looking for a "yes". So, after some more soul searching, and an unexpected provision, we are back to trying to decipher the Lord's will for our life.
At this point, I had grown so weary. Feeling like I was searching in vain, unable to to even figure out what I was really searching for. I began praying for God to direct me to a passage that would give me wisdom to decipher his will for us.
I began as I often do, in Psalm 119. I have always been drawn to this passage, since my early teenage years, and my Bible is littered with notes and dates of times when God spoke through those verses to lead me in His path.
But last night, I felt like I was staring at blank pages. Which is pretty much how I have felt the past few weeks. So I started praying, begging God to lead me to His Word for direction. As I laid in bed, I covered my face with my Bible trying to actually breathe in His direction. I began to sense that He was leading me to the Old Testament. I continued to pray, and I eventually opened up to the book of Joshua.
I began as I usually do, by reading the book notes in my Bible, setting up the background information and the themes. One sentence immediately caught my attention in the notes."Though a history book, its primary theme is the faithfulness of God as exhibited repeatedly through His presence, power, protection, provision, and fulfilled promises."
With that, I knew that this was where God wanted me to start. I began reading and immediately these words hit me,
"Joshua 1:5b As I was with Moses, so I will be with you. I will not leave you nor forsake you. 6 Be strong and of good courage....7 Only be strong and very courageous...do not turn from it to the right hand or to the left, that you may prosper wherever you go. 8 This book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate in it day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success. 9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go."
With those words falling fresh on me, I began to sob. I knew that my main obstacle was fear. I could name different reasons why the move was not right for our family, but at the root of each one was simply, fear. I had no courage, and worse still, I had no faith. Since I could not see the outcome, as painless, I choose fear. I did not believe God was big enough, or probably more truthful, I did not trust God to be BIG enough in this.
I kept reading, and was met with one obstacle after another that God overcame. Crossing the Jordan, Rahab hiding the spies, and the walls of Jericho falling down.
I still do not know if we will move to Florida, that will ultimately be for my DH to decide. But as for me, I will no longer let my human eyes settle on the obstacles in front of me. Instead, I will choose to see each "impossible" thing as something that is ONLY POSSIBLE with the Lord. I will not be fearful, I will be faithful. I will not run from battle, I will prepare for it and expect the Lord to show up.
I will not be bound by fear.
I will be strong and courageous.
No matter my location.
My DH said it best when he said that the whole time we were looking for a "no" from God, when maybe we should have been looking for a "yes". So, after some more soul searching, and an unexpected provision, we are back to trying to decipher the Lord's will for our life.
At this point, I had grown so weary. Feeling like I was searching in vain, unable to to even figure out what I was really searching for. I began praying for God to direct me to a passage that would give me wisdom to decipher his will for us.
I began as I often do, in Psalm 119. I have always been drawn to this passage, since my early teenage years, and my Bible is littered with notes and dates of times when God spoke through those verses to lead me in His path.
But last night, I felt like I was staring at blank pages. Which is pretty much how I have felt the past few weeks. So I started praying, begging God to lead me to His Word for direction. As I laid in bed, I covered my face with my Bible trying to actually breathe in His direction. I began to sense that He was leading me to the Old Testament. I continued to pray, and I eventually opened up to the book of Joshua.
I began as I usually do, by reading the book notes in my Bible, setting up the background information and the themes. One sentence immediately caught my attention in the notes."Though a history book, its primary theme is the faithfulness of God as exhibited repeatedly through His presence, power, protection, provision, and fulfilled promises."
With that, I knew that this was where God wanted me to start. I began reading and immediately these words hit me,
"Joshua 1:5b As I was with Moses, so I will be with you. I will not leave you nor forsake you. 6 Be strong and of good courage....7 Only be strong and very courageous...do not turn from it to the right hand or to the left, that you may prosper wherever you go. 8 This book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate in it day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success. 9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go."
With those words falling fresh on me, I began to sob. I knew that my main obstacle was fear. I could name different reasons why the move was not right for our family, but at the root of each one was simply, fear. I had no courage, and worse still, I had no faith. Since I could not see the outcome, as painless, I choose fear. I did not believe God was big enough, or probably more truthful, I did not trust God to be BIG enough in this.
I kept reading, and was met with one obstacle after another that God overcame. Crossing the Jordan, Rahab hiding the spies, and the walls of Jericho falling down.
I still do not know if we will move to Florida, that will ultimately be for my DH to decide. But as for me, I will no longer let my human eyes settle on the obstacles in front of me. Instead, I will choose to see each "impossible" thing as something that is ONLY POSSIBLE with the Lord. I will not be fearful, I will be faithful. I will not run from battle, I will prepare for it and expect the Lord to show up.
I will not be bound by fear.
I will be strong and courageous.
No matter my location.
Bounty Hunter
So, we are making our way through our school day and shortly after lunch, both Jared and Micah are ready for a break outside. I tell Micah that she has to go get tennis shoes on first...she was still in her pj's but I was good with that. So off she went and came back to check in with me before she headed out. I almost fell out. I wanted to grab the camera and let you all see how she dressed herself, but at the last minute I changed my mind. I realized that ALL girls, when dressing themselves would probably pick the outfit she did. So, it really was not that funny, at least not "blog" funny.
I continued on with the laundry and cleaning my bathroom and on my way through the house I hear her calling me. I headed to the living room and there she is in all her glory. Begging Jake, who is not quite done with school, "Hurry up Jake, I need you on my team. We are playing Bounty Hunter and we have to get Jared. Hurry Up!!"
That's when I grabbed the camera.
I realized that while the outfit alone was not "blog worthy", her wearing it AND playing Bounty Hunter was definately laugh out loud funny.
So here she is in all her glory....Micah, the mini skirt wearin',light saber weildin', pink huntress.
I continued on with the laundry and cleaning my bathroom and on my way through the house I hear her calling me. I headed to the living room and there she is in all her glory. Begging Jake, who is not quite done with school, "Hurry up Jake, I need you on my team. We are playing Bounty Hunter and we have to get Jared. Hurry Up!!"
That's when I grabbed the camera.
I realized that while the outfit alone was not "blog worthy", her wearing it AND playing Bounty Hunter was definately laugh out loud funny.
So here she is in all her glory....Micah, the mini skirt wearin',light saber weildin', pink huntress.
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