Here we go again....

Do you remember my post the other day about the Lord NOT leading us to Florida...well, we are back to the discussion table. After we had "decided" not to make the move, both Jeff and I, at different times felt unsettled. That did not make for a happy household this week. We kept trying to find the humor in it, but at times we were just so frustrated with not being on the same page that we ended up not laughing at all.

My DH said it best when he said that the whole time we were looking for a "no" from God, when maybe we should have been looking for a "yes". So, after some more soul searching, and an unexpected provision, we are back to trying to decipher the Lord's will for our life.

At this point, I had grown so weary. Feeling like I was searching in vain, unable to to even figure out what I was really searching for. I began praying for God to direct me to a passage that would give me wisdom to decipher his will for us.

I began as I often do, in Psalm 119. I have always been drawn to this passage, since my early teenage years, and my Bible is littered with notes and dates of times when God spoke through those verses to lead me in His path.

But last night, I felt like I was staring at blank pages. Which is pretty much how I have felt the past few weeks. So I started praying, begging God to lead me to His Word for direction. As I laid in bed, I covered my face with my Bible trying to actually breathe in His direction. I began to sense that He was leading me to the Old Testament. I continued to pray, and I eventually opened up to the book of Joshua.

I began as I usually do, by reading the book notes in my Bible, setting up the background information and the themes. One sentence immediately caught my attention in the notes."Though a history book, its primary theme is the faithfulness of God as exhibited repeatedly through His presence, power, protection, provision, and fulfilled promises."

With that, I knew that this was where God wanted me to start. I began reading and immediately these words hit me,

"Joshua 1:5b As I was with Moses, so I will be with you. I will not leave you nor forsake you. 6 Be strong and of good courage....7 Only be strong and very courageous...do not turn from it to the right hand or to the left, that you may prosper wherever you go. 8 This book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate in it day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success. 9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go."

With those words falling fresh on me, I began to sob. I knew that my main obstacle was fear. I could name different reasons why the move was not right for our family, but at the root of each one was simply, fear. I had no courage, and worse still, I had no faith. Since I could not see the outcome, as painless, I choose fear. I did not believe God was big enough, or probably more truthful, I did not trust God to be BIG enough in this.

I kept reading, and was met with one obstacle after another that God overcame. Crossing the Jordan, Rahab hiding the spies, and the walls of Jericho falling down.

I still do not know if we will move to Florida, that will ultimately be for my DH to decide. But as for me, I will no longer let my human eyes settle on the obstacles in front of me. Instead, I will choose to see each "impossible" thing as something that is ONLY POSSIBLE with the Lord. I will not be fearful, I will be faithful. I will not run from battle, I will prepare for it and expect the Lord to show up.

I will not be bound by fear.

I will be strong and courageous.

No matter my location.